SCIENCE EXAM

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers. Some of them are hysterical. 

 Q: Name the four seasons.

 A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. 

 Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

 A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. 

 Q: How is dew formed? 

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 

 Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

 A: Keep it in the cow.

 Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

 A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. 

 Q: What are steroids? 

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 

 Q: What happens to your body as you age? 

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. 

 Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

 A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. 

 Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

 A: Premature death. 

 Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen) 

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U. 

 Q: What is the fibula?

 A: A small lie.

 Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)

 A: Nearby. 

 Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.' 

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome 

 Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?' 

 A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.