Thursday, February 3, 2011
Baby's Delivery according to Corporate World
2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
And lastly...
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET! ! ! !
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.
18. You say......."Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21.You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. Your shoes are suddenly 2 sizes too small.
23. You think faster than the computer.
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ** kisses**.
25. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say BRB.
27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
28. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this...."BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL ASAP".
29. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.
30. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.
Indian Great discoveries we can be proud of... Preserve this...
Indian Great discoveries we can be proud of - but western world takes credit for these discoveries ? Preserve this
Indian Pride... Does it exist ? We have so many reasons to take PRIDE IN BEING AN INDIAN.
Here are a few examples of how great developments in human society were the contributions of great Bharatiyas (Indians)long before these discoveries were possible anywhere else. But to truly appreciate and understand there works and contribution one needs to learn Sanskritotherwise one will remain forever ignorant of these important texts. Who knows Sanskrit and is willing to research further? Anyone? This is the problem at its root and this is the true reason why we are so ignorant of these people and our great heritage.
Here are a few examples of how great developments in human society were the contributions of great Bharatiyas (Indians)long before these discoveries were possible anywhere else. But to truly appreciate and understand there works and contribution one needs to learn Sanskritotherwise one will remain forever ignorant of these important texts. Who knows Sanskrit and is willing to research further? Anyone? This is the problem at its root and this is the true reason why we are so ignorant of these people and our great heritage.
ARYABHATT
(476 CE)
MASTER ASTRONOMER AND MATHEMATICIAN
(476 CE)
MASTER ASTRONOMER AND MATHEMATICIAN
Born in 476 CE in Kusumpur ( Bihar )Aryabhatt's intellectual brilliance remapped the boundaries of mathematics and astronomy. In 499 CEat the age of 23he wrote a text on astronomy and an unparallel treatise on mathematics called 'Aryabhatiyam.' He formulated the process of calculating the motion of planets and the time of eclipses. Aryabhatt was the first to proclaim that the earth is roundit rotates on its axisorbits the sun and is suspended in space - 1000 years before Copernicus published his heliocentric theory. He is also acknowledged for calculating p (Pi) to four decimal places: 3.1416 and the sine table in trigonometry. Centuries laterin 825 CEthe Arab mathematicianMohammed Ibna Musa credited the value of Pi to the Indians'This value has been given by the Hindus.' And above allhis most spectacular contribution was the concept of zero without which modern computer technology would have been non-existent. Aryabhatt was a colossus in the field of mathematics.
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BHASKARACHARYA II
(1114-1183 CE)
GENIUS IN ALGEBRA
(1114-1183 CE)
GENIUS IN ALGEBRA
Born in the obscure village of Vijjadit (Jalgaon) in MaharastraBhaskaracharya's work in AlgebraArithmetic and Geometry catapulted him to fame and immortality. His renowned mathematical works called 'Lilavati' and 'Bijaganita' are considered to be unparalled and a memorial to his profound intelligence. Its translation in several languages of the world bear testimony to its eminence. In his treatise ' Siddhant Shiromani ' he writes on planetary positionseclipsescosmographyma thematical techniques and astronomical equipment. In the ' Surya Siddhant ' he makes a note on the force of gravity: 'Objects fall on earth due to a force of attraction by the earth. Thereforethe earthplanetsconstellationsmoon and sun are held in orbit due to this attraction.' Bhaskaracharya was the first to discover gravity500 years before Sir Isaac Newton . He was the champion among mathematicians of ancient and medieval India . His works fired the imagination of Persian and European scholarswho through research on his works earned fame and popularity.
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ACHARYA KANAD
(600 BCE)
FOUNDER OF ATOMIC THEORY
(600 BCE)
FOUNDER OF ATOMIC THEORY
As the founder of ' Vaisheshik Darshan '- one of six principal philosophies of India - Acharya Kanad was a genius in philosophy. He is believed to have been born in Prabhas Kshetra near Dwarika in Gujarat . He was the pioneer expounder of realismlaw of causation and the atomic theory. He has classified all the objects of creation into nine elementsnamely: earthwaterlightwindethertimesp acemind and soul. He says'Every object of creation is made of atoms which in turn connect with each other to form molecules.' His statement ushered in the Atomic Theory for the first time ever in the worldnearly 2500 years before John Dalton . Kanad has also described the dimension and motion of atoms and their chemical reactions with each other. The eminent historianT.N. Colebrookhas said'Compared to the scientists of EuropeKanad and other Indian scientists were the global masters of this field.'
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NAGARJUNA
(100 CE)
WIZARD OF CHEMICAL SCIENCE
(100 CE)
WIZARD OF CHEMICAL SCIENCE
He was an extraordinary wizard of science born in the nondescript village of Baluka in Madhya Pradesh . His dedicated research for twelve years produced maiden discoveries and inventions in the faculties of chemistry and metallurgy. Textual masterpieces like ' Ras Ratnakar' 'Rashrudaya' and 'Rasendramangal' are his renowned contributions to the science of chemistry. Where the medieval alchemists of England failedNagarjuna had discovered the alchemy of transmuting base metals into gold. As the author of medical books like 'Arogyamanjari' and 'Yogasar' he also made significant contributions to the field of curative medicine. Because of his profound scholarliness and versatile knowledgehe was appointed as Chancellor of the famous University of Nalanda . Nagarjuna's milestone discoveries impress and astonish the scientists of today.
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ACHARYA CHARAK
(600 BCE)
FATHER OF MEDICINE
(600 BCE)
FATHER OF MEDICINE
Acharya Charak has been crowned as the Father of Medicine. His renowned workthe ' Charak Samhita 'is considered as an encyclopedia of Ayurveda. His principlesdiagonesesand cures retain their potency and truth even after a couple of millennia. When the science of anatomy was confused with different theories in EuropeAcharya Charak revealed through his innate genius and enquiries the facts on human anatomyembryologypharmacologyb lood circulation and diseases like diabetestuberculosisheart diseaseetc. In the ' Charak Samhita ' he has described the medicinal qualities and functions of 100000 herbal plants. He has emphasized the influence of diet and activity on mind and body. He has proved the correlation of spirituality and physical health contributed greatly to diagnostic and curative sciences. He has also prescribed and ethical charter for medical practitioners two centuries prior to the Hippocratic oath. Through his genius and intuitionAcharya Charak made landmark contributions to Ayurvedal. He forever remains etched in the annals of history as one of the greatest and noblest of rishi-scientists.
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ACHARYA SUSHRUT
(600 BCE)
FATHER OF PLASTIC SURGERY
(600 BCE)
FATHER OF PLASTIC SURGERY
A genius who has been glowingly recognized in the annals of medical science. Born to sage VishwamitraAcharya Sudhrut details the first ever surgery procedures in ' Sushrut Samhita' a unique encyclopedia of surgery. He is venerated as the father of plastic surgery and the science of anesthesia. When surgery was in its infancy in EuropeSushrut was performing Rhinoplasty (restoration of a damaged nose) and other challenging operations. In the ' Sushrut Samhita' he prescribes treatment for twelve types of fractures and six types of dislocations. His details on human embryology are simply amazing. Sushrut used 125 types of surgical instruments including scalpelslancetsneedlesCathers and rectal speculumsmostly designed from the jaws of animals and birds. He has also described a number of stitching methodsthe use of horse's hair as thread and fibers of bark. In the ' Sushrut Samhita' and fibers of bark. In the ' Sushrut Samhita' he details 300 types of operations. The ancient Indians were the pioneers in amputationcaesarian and cranial surgeries. Acharya Sushrut was a giant in the arena of medical science.
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VARAHAMIHIR
(499-587 CE)
EMINENT ASTROLOGER AND ASTRONOMERA
(499-587 CE)
EMINENT ASTROLOGER AND ASTRONOMERA
renowned astrologer and astronomer who was honored with a special decoration and status as one of the nine gems in the court of King Vikramaditya in Avanti ( Ujjain ). Varahamihir's book 'panchsiddhant' holds a prominent place in the realm of astronomy. He notes that the moon and planets are lustrous not because of their own light but due to sunlight. In the ' Bruhad Samhita ' and ' Bruhad Jatak' he has revealed his discoveries in the domains of geographyconstellationscienceb otany and animal science. In his treatise on botanical scienceVaramihir presents cures for various diseases afflicting plants and trees. The rishi-scientist survives through his unique contributions to the science of astrology and astronomy.
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ACHARYA PATANJALI
(200 BCE)
FATHER OF YOGA
(200 BCE)
FATHER OF YOGA
The Science of Yoga is one of several unique contributions of India to the world. It seeks to discover and realize the ultimate Reality through yogic practices. Acharya Patanjalithe founderhailed from the district of Gonda (Ganara) in Uttar Pradesh . He prescribed the control of prana (life breath) as the means to control the bodymind and soul. This subsequently rewards one with good health and inner happiness. Acharya Patanjali 's 84 yogic postures effectively enhance the efficiency of the respiratorycirculatorynervousd igestive and endocrine systems and many other organs of the body. Yoga has eight limbs where Acharya Patanjali shows the attainment of the ultimate bliss of God in samadhi through the disciplines of: yamniyamasanpranayampratyahard hyan and dharna. The Science of Yoga has gained popularity because of its scientific approach and benefits. Yoga also holds the honored place as one of six philosophies in the Indian philosophical system. Acharya Patanjali will forever be remembered and revered as a pioneer in the science of self-disciplinehappiness and self-realization.
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ACHARYA BHARADWAJ
(800 BCE)
PIONEER OF AVIATION TECHNOLOGY
(800 BCE)
PIONEER OF AVIATION TECHNOLOGY
Acharya Bharadwaj had a hermitage in the holy city of Prayag and was an ordent apostle of Ayurveda and mechanical sciences. He authored the ' Yantra Sarvasva ' which includes astonishing and outstanding discoveries in aviation sciencespace science and flying machines. He has described three categories of flying machines: 1.) One that flies on earth from one place to another. 2.) One that travels from one planet to another. 3.) And One that travels from one universe to another. His designs and descriptions have impressed and amazed aviation engineers of today. His brilliance in aviation technology is further reflected through techniques described by him:
1.) Profound Secret: The technique to make a flying machine invisible through the application of sunlight and wind force.
2.) Living Secret: The technique to make an invisible space machine visible through the application of electrical force.
3.) Secret of Eavesdropping: The technique to listen to a conversation in another plane.
4.) Visual Secrets: The technique to see what's happening inside another plane.
Through his innovative and brilliant discoveriesAcharya Bharadwaj has been recognized as the pioneer of aviation technology.
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ACHARYA KAPIL
(3000 BCE)
FATHER OF COSMOLOGY
(3000 BCE)
FATHER OF COSMOLOGY
Celebrated as the founder of Sankhya philosophyAcharya Kapil is believed to have been born in 3000 BCE to the illustrious sage Kardam and Devhuti. He gifted the world with the Sankhya School of Thought. His pioneering work threw light on the nature and principles of the ultimate Soul (Purusha)primal matter (Prakruti) and creation. His concept of transformation of energy and profound commentaries on atmanon-atma and the subtle elements of the cosmos places him in an elite class of master achievers - incomparable to the discoveries of other cosmologists. On his assertion that Prakrutiwith the inspiration of Purushais the mother of cosmic creation and all energieshe contributed a new chapter in the science of cosmology. Because of his extrasensory observations and revelations on the secrets of creationhe is recognized and saluted as the Father of Cosmology.
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Hidden commands in windows
1. ‘systeminfo’
It boasts how long it can stay up. Whereas previous versions of Windows were coy about how long they went between boots, XP is positively proud of its stamina. Go to the Command Prompt in the Accessories menu from the All Programs start button option, and then type ‘systeminfo’. The computer will produce a lot of useful info, including the uptime. If you want to keep these, type ‘systeminfo > info.txt‘. This creates a file called info.txt you can look at later with Notepad. (Professional Edition only).
2. gpedit
You can delete files immediately, without having them move to the Recycle Bin first. Go to the start menu, select Run… and type ‘ gpedit.msc‘; then select User Configuration, Administrative Templates, Windows Components, Windows Explorer and find the Do not move deleted files to the Recycle Bin setting. Set it.
Poking around in gpedit will reveal a great many interface and system options, but take care — some may stop your computer behaving as you wish.
(Professional Edition only).
Poking around in gpedit will reveal a great many interface and system options, but take care — some may stop your computer behaving as you wish.
(Professional Edition only).
3. rundll32.exe
You can lock your XP workstation with two clicks of the mouse. Create a new shortcut on your desktop using a right mouse click, and enter ‘rundll32.exe user32.dll, LockWorkStation‘ in the location field. Give the shortcut a name you like. That’s it — just double click on it and your computer will be locked. And if that’s not easy enough, Windows key + L will do the same.
4. sysoc.inf
XP hides some system software you might want to remove, such as Windows Messenger, but you can tickle it and make it disgorge everything. Using Notepad or Edit, edit the text file /windows/inf/sysoc.inf, search for the word ‘hide‘ and remove it. You can then go to the Add or Remove Programs in the Control Panel, select Add/Remove Windows Components and there will be your prey, exposed and vulnerable.
5. schtasks
For those skilled in the art of DOS batch files, XP has a number of interesting new commands. These include ‘eventcreate‘ and ‘eventtriggers‘ for creating and watching system events, ‘typeperf’ for monitoring performance of various subsystems, and ‘schtasks’ for handling scheduled tasks. As usual, typing the command name followed by /? will give a list of options — they’re all far too baroque to go into here.
6. ipv6
XP has IP version 6 support (the next generation of IP). Unfortunately this is more than your ISP has, so you can only experiment with this on your LAN. Type ‘ipv6 install‘ into Run… (it’s OK, it won’t ruin your existing network setup) and then ‘ipv6 /?‘ at the command line to find out more. If you don’t know what IPv6 is, don’t worry and don’t bother.
7. taskkill
You can at last get rid of tasks on the computer from the command line by using ‘taskkill /pid‘ and the task number, or just ‘tskill’ and the process number. Find that out by typing ‘tasklist’, which will also tell you a lot about what’s going on in your system.
8. zipfldr.dll
XP will treat Zip files like folders, which is nice if you’ve got a fast machine. On slower machines, you can make XP leave zip files well alone by typing ‘regsvr32 /u zipfldr.dll‘ at the command line. If you change your mind later, you can put things back as they were by typing ‘regsvr32 zipfldr.dll‘.
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