Famous funny, dumb and stupid celebrity quotes:
«Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.»
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. One of the worst celebrity quotes ever.
«If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?»
— Christina Aguilera
«Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.»
- Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
«I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
- Milos Forman, Film director
«When I'm a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they'll believe me because they weren't listening to me.»
- Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine.
«The internet is a great way to get on the net.»
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
«You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
«I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
- Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)
«I think war is a dangerous place.»
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)
«I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
- Greg Norman, Golfer
«It's nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he'll bring a drill or something.»
- Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college
«Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.»
- Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal
«These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up.»
- Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player
«I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid.»
- Paris Hilton (December 2003)
«I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman»
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
«Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.»
- Mariah Carey, pop singer
«Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future.»
- Yogi Berra, Baseball player
«My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
- Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.
«The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
«And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
- Dan Rather, television news anchor
«Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.»
- George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
«The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
- Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
«I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost.»
- Frank Bruno, Boxer
«I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.»
- George Bush
«I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
- George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season
«I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
«The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.»
- Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
«Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
«Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.»
- Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.
«If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them.»
- Ted Turner, media mogul, on selling off his money losing properties
«They misunderestimated me.»
- George W Bush, Bentonville, Ark., (Nov. 6, 2000)
«I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to.»
- Linda Evangelista, Supermodel
«Facts are stupid things.»
- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President
«What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«That's just the tip of the ice cube.»
- Neil Hamilton, BBC2
«A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.»
- Samuel Goldwyn
«I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.»
- Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
«It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
«I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
«The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
- Sylvestor Stallone, Actor
«Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.»
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
«We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«Will the highways on the internet become more few?»
- George W Bush, Concord, New Hampshire, (29th January 2000)
«Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.»
- Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian cabinet minister
«There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.»
- Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor
«We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.»
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
«I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa.»
— Britney Spears
«Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.»
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player
«I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.»
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«Put the 'off' button on.»
- George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000
«So Carol, you're a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?»
- Michael Barrymore
«Food is an important part of a balanced diet.»
- Fran Lebowitz, US writer
«We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?»
- Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation
«For NASA, space is still a high priority.»
- Dan Quayle
«He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer
«If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.»
- George Gobel
«If only faces could talk...»
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
«Every minute was more exciting than the next.»
- Linda Evans, actress
«I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.»
— Jessica Simpson
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